I have had another busy week at school. A week that was made busier by my choice to change my classes. At the end of last year when I was choosing my subjects for this year I was rather conflicted about what I wanted to take. Because I’m in my second last year at high school I have been told more than once that I need to focus on my future and choose subjects that will help me at university or during my future career. Of course being a teenager, I have absolutely no idea what I want to do when I leave school. So I chose to take drama as one of my subjects as I had been doing it previously for four years. I really enjoyed the subject. It was only last year when everything began to come unstuck.
Being in the drama room usually filled me with a massive sense of confidence and power. I felt like I could do anything I wanted and be anyone who I wanted for at least one hour a day. That was until some nasty toxic people in my class began to make me feel, to put it bluntly, like shit. I was constantly being laughed at and made fun of for the characters I was portraying. When I played an evil demon-like character, I got told I was meant to be “acting” and not just be myself on stage. By the end of the year, I was feeling pretty horrible and I lost all faith in the subject. But I still decided to give it a go again this year.
I lasted eight lessons.
The people in the class weren’t the problem anymore. It became the room itself. What I had experienced in that classroom flooded back every time I entered and I couldn’t escape. I was also constantly being told by all of my teachers that this year was going to be a massive step up from last year. I no longer felt confident in my abilities. And decided that drama wasn’t for me. Much to the obvious outrage of many of my friends. But they got over it.
This story isn’t all doom and gloom, though. I dropped drama to start taking economics. It sounds pretty boring, I know. But I loved taking the subject in year ten, and the only reason I couldn’t take it in year 11 was the fact that it was on at the same time as drama like it was this year (obviously drama students weren’t expected to care about money). I still love taking economics and I have some amazing friends in my class which makes it all the more sweeter. Not to mention that the teacher is great and the work isn’t that hard.
Though certain people still refuse to tell me what’s happening in drama, stating that “if I was there I would know.” But I have learnt that it doesn’t really matter. You can’t take subjects just because everyone else wants you to. You have to do what makes you happy even if it means going against the crowd. Because in the end you only have to look after yourself and your own happiness. Not anyone else’s. I’m now on a different path. A path that will help me go further, in the long run, I hope.
Well, I hope that wasn’t too serious. I just want you to know, whoever is reading this right now, that the only thing that matters is what you want. If we spend our entire life worrying about what other people think and want, we won’t have much of a life at all. Sometimes you have to go against the current to end up where you want to go. You never know, you might find out that everyone was heading in the wrong direction anyway.
I’ll be back next week (hopefully) with something a bit lighter. I hope this post has helped you in someway if you have any stories you want to share with me I would love to hear them (even if it takes three days for me to reply)!
Today’s thought of the post is: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr Seuss. This would have to be one of my favourite quotes ever as it is very true. Those who care about you an awful lot don’t care what you do as long as it makes you happy, and those who do mind really don’t matter at all.
Later Gators xx
Girl Surviving the World: alive and experiencing some nice change for a change 🙂